Morning Head: Take the afternoon off and watch basketball

It's been a few weeks since I've used Brooklyn Decker, so it's safe to use her again. Actually, what the hell am I doing? I don't have to apologize for using that picture, are you kidding me?

Conference tournament action is picking up, as a lot of the big boys are ready to step onto the court. The first round of the Big Ten tournament is today, and that includes Michigan State vs. Iowa (4:55 p.m.), a game Michigan State has to win. Should win, but definitely has to. The Big East tournament is now in the quarterfinals, which reads more like the Sweet 16 than the quarterfinals of a conference tournament. We have UConn vs. Pitt at noon, Syracuse vs. St. Johns at 2, ND vs. Cincinnati at 7 and Marquette vs. Louisville at 9. God damn. (Big Ten and Big East)

Speaking of the Big East tournament, Rutgers was straight fucked Wednesday by the officials at the end of its game with St. Johns. Here's a clip of the final 13.4 seconds, which includes a pretty brutal no-call on a foul in the lane which is being ignored because the final seconds were so horribly handled. The officials from the game have "voluntarily" withdrawn from the rest of the tournament. (Newark Star-Ledger)

The attorney who was sending Jim Tressel all of those e-mails about OSU players selling their stuff -- to which Tressel responded: OK, LOLZ, get right on it ;). have a blessed day!!!!!! -- is a former OSU player who is, well, a questionable attorney at best. I'm sticking by original thought (which I may or may not have written down) that Tressel doesn't survive this. I think after the NCAA comes down and perhaps exposes some of the things Ohio State is involved with, he'll resign. (Columbus Post-Dispatch)

Oh my god, how did this make it this far down the Head? Before getting his DUI, Miguel Cabrera turned into that drunk friend who's not really your friend, but he went to high school with you and came to visit you up at college with some of your actual friends because since they haven't moved on in life, they've been forced to hang out with him. And the night always ends the same, he threatens everyone in the bar before finishing the night semi-suicidal. This is normal for All-Star first basemen, and totally forgivable if they hit .330 with 40-plus home runs and 120 RBIs. (Freep)

The Red Wings are doing that thing again where they struggle more than we'd like them to. They lost to the Kings 2-1 last night, mostly because Jonathan Quick is a fucking miracle worker at Joe Louis Arena. But the Wings are 0-2-2 in their last four, which, of course, might as well be a 15-game losing streak when it comes to Wings fans. Maybe I should worry, but I never do with the Wings, not until they're playing like this in the playoffs that is, then I get really frustrated, throw things, and puke on my friend's floor. (DetNews)

I'm ignoring the Pistons.

Wisconsin Republicans used a bill separation technique Wednesday night to pass the "Fuck You Unions" part of the budget bill on its own because they don't need a full quorum in the senate to do so. This is the part of the bill that has nothing to do with balancing budgets and everything to do with crippling unions. But it's all about balancing the budget. (NY Times)

Meanwhile, right here in Michigan, a bill was passed that allows the Snyder administration to appoint emergency financial managers to municipalities and school districts when the Snyder administration feels they need one. The financial managers would trump the elected officials in said municipality or district, meaning that instead of writing to your mayor, you'll probably be writing to the CEO of Gateway to get that sidewalk fixed in front of your house. Oh, and your sidewalk is never getting fixed. (AnnArbor.com)

Rep. Peter King (R-Dickholistan) has opened his hearings about the radicalization of Muslims in America. Peter King, of course, was essentially a terrorist sympathizer when the IRA was bombing people in Northern Ireland, but that's just silly liberals bringing up history again to make people like King seem foolish. I patiently await the hearings about the radicalization of Christians in America. (Huffington Post)

Today's Amazingness puts Blake Griffin to shame: