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OK, Derelict readers, here's what Blake Lively looks like in a bikini. Now, here's what we're made to believe she looks like sans bikini (NSFW, obviously), and anything else other than an iPhone. My instant analysis notices the mole on the upper chest of the naked girl, and that it's not there on Lively. Although, that could simply be something with the photo. Or chocolate. Either way, there are naked pictures on the Internet of a very attractive girl who bears a striking resemblance to Blake Lively. I don't think this is something we should complain about, even if they're fake.Look, most all of us are upset about the fact that the Miami Heat have become the best team in basketball in such a short period of time. We all figured it would take a year or two before they completely gelled and figured out how to divvy up the touches in crucial games. Or maybe there would be Kobe/Shaq-like infighting that cause rifts that were too deep to be overcome in a tough playoff series. But none of that is happening, and the Heat are looking more and more likely to win it all in Year 1, meaning multiple championships is probably a given. So let's take solace in the (maybe) Blake Lively naked photos and the fact that the lede on the Miami Herald story today was stupid. Really? You're going to lead with five in a row in the finals against the Mavericks, even though only four players who are playing significant minutes in this series played in the 2006 series? Even though this was the Heat's first win over the Mavericks this season? I mean, I could see mentioning it at some point, but in the lede? I mean, the whole article is garbage, to be perfectly honest. So that makes me feel a little bit better. Well, not really. But kind of. (Miami Herald)
The Stanley Cup Final begins tonight in Vancouver. And yes, it's strange that a Stanley Cup Final game in Vancouver starts at 8 p.m. EST, and an NBA Finals game in Miami started at 9 p.m. EST. Of course, hockey doesn't have the luxury of the casual fan making sure to tune in, so if they see that the game starts at 9 or 10, they're likely not even going to bother, because they have work in the morning goddammit. I said this during the conference finals, and I'm going to continue to say it until I'm inevitably proven wrong, Vancouver wins this series in five games. The West was vastly superior to the East this year, and it will show. Boston's only shot here is to have Tim Thomas steal four games, and while he's capable, I don't know if that's possible against the Canucks. (Kurten Blog)
The obvious debate after the Thrashers left Atlanta for Winnipeg is what team moves to the Eastern Conference in 2012? As I said yesterday, Nashville probably makes the most sense geographically, but the team that makes the most sense historically/geographically is the Red Wings. Pierre LeBrun agrees with that. Now let's hope to fucking god that Gary Bettman agrees with that, too -- spoiler alert: he won't -- and the Wings move to the Eastern Conference, where playoff travel won't be such an issue, and getting to the Stanley Cup Final won't be as treacherous a journey. (ESPN)
Remember when the Tigers hadn't beaten the Twins in, like, a million years? Well things have turned around now, mostly because the Twins suck balls. With their win last night, the Tigers own eight straight wins over the Twinkies. The Tigers used bunting and Joaquin Benoit to win this one. I'll never type that again. (DetNews)
The NBA approved the sale of the Pistons to Tom Gores and his group. This is good news, if for no other other reason, it gets Karen Davidson the fuck out the picture. It's bad news, however, because now the Pistons have an owner who doesn't wear a belt when he tucks in his shirt. Tom Gores is your middle-aged father, apparently. (Freep)
While going to grab the Gores story, I came across this gem from Drew Sharp. Here's the thing about this: Michigan and Michigan State have been chasing the same recruits as Ohio States FOREVER. The only thing that's changed about recruiting in the Midwest now that Ohio State is having it's issues, is that schools like Michigan and Michigan State have a better chance at pulling a kid out of Ohio. In fact, Michigan has beaten Ohio State for some pretty big name Ohio recruits in the past -- Desmond Howard and Charles Woodson immediately come to mind. Those two nearly crippled the Michigan program. You're not sinking to anyone's level by recruiting the same kids they are. You sink to their level when you enable them in the same way that Ohio State enabled them. Terrelle Pryor is a fucktard, but would he have been a fucktard on the same level at Michigan? Maybe mentally, but I'm guessing he wouldn't have sat in the driver's seat of eight different cars while he was there. I'm convinced that every time Drew Sharp gets a boner, he runs to the kitchen and pours ice cubes down his pants. (Freep)
Of course, none of us will ever get to see those kids play their four years wherever they decide to go, because we'll all be dead of brain cancer. (Mobile Beat)
Today's Amazingness is Chris Berman not being too sure what constitutes a walk-off win: