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This is Kelli Hutcherson, who is a UFC ring girl. Dana White is really, really kicking boxing's ass right now, isn't he? For more, go here (won't get you fired, but won't exactly get you in your bosses good graces, either).Hey, San Jose Sharks, if you were just going to go to the Western Conference Finals and lay down, you could have done it in Game 7 and just gotten this whole thing over with. The Canucks raped the Sharks in the third period last night, winning 7-3 as the Sedin twins put on a show. The Sharks have decided in this series that they weren't going to let Ryan Kesler beat them, so instead, the Sedins are pummeling them. Here's the thing about this: The Canucks were forced to a Game 7 by the Blackhawks and a Game 6 by the Predators -- two teams who are not as talented as the Sharks -- when those teams decided to take away the Sedins. Yeah, Kesler was great against the Preds, but it's not like the Canucks were blowing them away. The Sedins are arguably two of the top five players in the league -- at the very least top 10 -- you might want to take them out of the game if you can. Because believe me, as much fun as it is to watch them skate circles around your fourth line, I'd rather see some semblance of a series. (The Province)
In a 7-3 loss, there are sure to be plenty of goats, but Ben Eager takes this one all by himself. He took stupid penalty after stupid penalty, all but the last costing the Sharks dearly. Of course, the last one would have cost them dearly had it not come immediately after he had scored a goal to make it 7-3 with about 3 minutes remaining. Of course, for his efforts, he was given this from a woman sitting next to the penalty box (this will get you fired). Sorry, Green Men, but you just became irrelevant. (The Big Lead)
The night was not all tits and Shark soup, however, as the Heat beat the Bulls in Game 2 of their Eastern Conference Finals series. The fourth quarter of this game made UConn/Butler look like the And1 Tour. Seriously, it was ugly. The refs were so disgusted by it, that LeBron James even got called for a travel. This game has reaffirmed my worst beliefs, however, that the Heat are going to win the NBA title. (Ball Don't Lie)
The Tigers lost 1-0 to the Red Sox after stranding approximately eleventy-billion men on base. It's hard to get mad at a team's offense for struggling in shitty weather in a game that was broken up by a rain delay. I will get mad at said offense, however, if it decides to light up Josh Beckett today. He's on my fantasy team, and sometimes fantasy kool-aid is thicker than blood. Sorry. Also, make sure to look for Your Boy Matt in the stands today. He'll be the one in the upper deck fucking a Justin Verlander blow-up doll. (DetNews)
Several of the Lions players have been holding their own workouts as the NFL continues to lock players out. I'd commend all of the players for still taking the time to show up, but Kyle Vanden Bosch is the one organizing these, and I've been close enough to him to know that when he tells you to do something, you're not even thinking of saying no. (Freep)
This kind of shit really interests me, and probably nobody else (although, Animal Planet would be out of business if that were the case). The Huffington Post has a slideshow of 10 bugs that you don't want to fuck with this year. (Huffington Post)
Today's amazingness is something I'm likely to try out in my backyard on Memorial Day:
