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Elsa Pataky never had to show her long-form birth certificate, because she's hot, and we don't care if you're an illegal alien or not as long as you're hot. Penelope Cruz? Dominican national*. Jennifer Lopez? Anchor baby*. But they're hot, so that's OK.(* - #notintendedtobeafactualstatement)
But this morning, the President of the United States felt the need to present his long-form birth certificate to the country/world because he's not hot. He also had to do it because there's a large swath of the republican party who were demanding it because they really didn't believe he was born here, despite, well, evidence that he was. And also, the media, up until two fucking nights ago, refused to just put the issue to rest. And even after CNN went ahead and "definitively" ruled that he was born here, IT'S OWN dipshit White House correspondent Ed Henry was asking about it. I'm pissed I had to write this paragraph, I can only imagine how pissed the president was he had to do something to stop people from talking about it. And don't give me that, "he should have done it sooner," bullshit, because he did. Remember, when I linked to this? (Huffington Post)
OK, happier times.
Vancouver eliminated Chicago last night in overtime. It was, quite honestly, the most invested in a non-Red Wings, non-Team USA hockey game that I've ever been. Corey Crawford was absolutely outstanding in net for the Blackhawks, doing everything he could to allow Chicago to stay in the game long enough for Jonathan Toews to score the type of goal Vancouver Canucks fans were fearing the most. Of course, Alex Burrows finished things off early in overtime, allowing us all to go to bed at a somewhat decent time (and inspiring one of the better front pages I've seen in a while). Although we should probably just get used to staying up late ... (Kurtenblog)
And now, it's Shark Hate Week. Of course, I was never any good at math, so this week could last, like, two weeks, but those are insignificant details that have nothing to do with hating the Sharks. I don't know when this series is going to start. I'm assuming Friday. It will be late Friday night, which means we're going to be tired and hungover Saturday morning. But that's what Saturday mornings are for. Also: Live blog. (Freep)
The other Game 7 last night was not so interesting. The Flyers got after Ryan Miller, chasing him from the game in a lopsided win. I hate when Game 7s don't live up to the rest of the series. Such a letdown. (Philly.com)
The Tigers lost in outstanding fashion, mainly because Ryan Raburn is Ryan Fucking Raburn. If this play isn't voted the "Worst of the Worst" in the Sportscenter "Not Top 10" for the rest of forever, I'll think less of this society than I already did because of the birther nonsense. (DetNews)
Kobe Bryant went HAM last night on the New Orleans Hornets, despite having an "injury." The Lakers finally did to New Orleans what we expected them to be doing. I think Your Boy Matt may have put it best. (Youtube)
The Bulls and Magic also finally did what we expected them to do. The Bulls eliminated the Pacers and the Magic staved off elimination. The fact that nobody will even pretend to care about the second-round series outside of Chicago and Atlanta/Orlando is both sad and probably the correct thing to be doing. (Orlando Sentinel)
Today's Amazingness is hopefully a predictor of things to come:
