Morning Head: Red Wings prove me wrong, and that's absolutely fine

Miranda Kerr had a baby four months ago. Now, she looks like Miranda Kerr again. These are the types of bounce-backs that give men across the world false hope. Although, if you're reading this, I have faith in you honey!

Random: Why do dogs sniff around before they take a shit? I mean, I know why they do it before they piss, because that's some sort of marking thing, and they'd prefer if they were peeing on another dog's pee, which is really immature -- like posting "First!" on an Internet message board. But why when they shit? They aren't marking anything, in fact, they're kind of ashamed of their shit, since they try to cover it up afterward. Is it the equivalent of us trying to find the right newspaper article to read while we're shitting? They want the right smell right there in their nose while they drop one? These are the things I think of while I freeze my ass off waiting for my dog to take a shit.

But, back to matters that matter ...

I was going to make a bunch of smartass remarks about how the Coyotes are officially toast, and the Red Wings are so clearly the superior team, but Michael Rosenberg kind of took care of all that for me. But seriously, the series officially ended when Johan Franzen scored early in the third period. Phoenix might salvage a Game 4 win, because it's probably their last game there, but that's the only reason I can see them winning at all. The Wings are better at every level than the Coyotes, and even when they tried to "get in the Wings heads" with some physical play early on, the Wings showed them how foolish that really was by scoring two goals before all the water from the zamboni had frozen. Also, it hasn't gotten much attention because the Wings have scored 12 goals in three games, but Jimmy Howard has been outstanding at big times in this series. If he continues to play like this, it could be a real fun June. (Freep)

The NHL and NBC/Versus are about to announce a 10-year deal to continue broadcasting rights. That, of course, means more chances for Pierre to stare creepily into a coach's eyes during an in-game interview. But seriously, I don't have many complaints with the Versus/NBC coverage, but that's probably because I'm a Red Wings fan, and they're on nationally, like, every weekend. (Puck Daddy)

It's ledes like this that make me wonder if they can't redo the Pulitzers. Also, the Tigers finally played a team that has a bullpen worse than theirs, and it worked out for them. Seriously, the Mariners are gawd-awful. (DetNews)

The Bulls had trouble with the Pacers again, before pulling out the win. Maybe it's nerves, but the Bulls don't exactly look like the team that earned the No. 1 seed in the East. Then again, San Antonio and L.A. are both in a 1-0 hole, so there's that. (Chicago Tribune)

The Heat, meanwhile, are playing the one series that absolutely nobody cares about. Odd. (Miami Herald)

Notre Dame released its report on the death of Declan Sullivan Monday, and, well, it was disappointing. The decision was that nobody acted with disregard for Sullivan's safety, which is bullshit, because the kid died at no fault of his own. A simple, "Look, we fucked up and we shouldn't have been outside that day, or at the very least shouldn't have had Declan up in that lift." Of course, because of legalities, that would never happen, because admitting fault opens you up to all sorts of problems. That shouldn't matter in this case. Some people wouldn't have been happy unless this resulted in the firing of Brian Kelly, which wasn't going to -- and shouldn't -- happen. One thing that came out in this report was the chain of command, and as suspected, there are a handful of people who let Kelly know whether or not it's OK to go outside. (The Daily)

Geoffrey Mutai ran farther and faster than you ever will in your life. He ran a 4:32 mile at MILE 20!!! I couldn't run a 4:32 mile if ... there are no circumstances under which I could run a 4:32 mile. (Boston Herald)

Today's Amazingness needs no build up: